I Proud to be an Indian

I proud to be an Indian
I will not open my mouth come WHAT may. I will simply open my pants, and allow myself to be screwed.

I will not make way for an ambulance to overtake me, I basically do not even know why these fellows blow the sirens… tis so damn irritating !!

I will never help a woman or an elderly person. or be courteous towards them .. what is chivalary by the way ?
I am the king of the road, every other fellow is just another bastard on the road.

I will spend thousands of Rupees, buying a cell phone, but will never do charity.

I will not care about the pain( physical, monetary, psychological) that my family goes through, but will blow money on the requirements of my girlfriend, (..ofcourse.. cmmon.. who doesnt wanna have sex)

If I see a person crossing the lane, I will make sure that my vehicle almost brushes past him ( ..sadistic pleasures are an important part of life)

I will not speak up if the government hikes the prices of every single essential commodity.. (inflation is  apart of every economy …. cant help)

I will always have one destination in mind… destination..-> America!!
(what has my country given me)

I am ashamed to speak my mother tongue in front of a few fake-American accented BPO employees ( cant look like a villager u know)
I am ashamed to order in a restaurent Indian dishes. ( what if i cant go places, i can eat their cuisines )

I do not have the time to stand up and back protests being demonstrated by my fellow citizens.. ( busy, project deadlines ..u know)

It is my birthright to lick a firangs ass, all i need is some money thrown on my face ( .. its all about the money,honey)

It is my birthright, to help a firang give directions, when he is in India, but will not do it for an Indian ( ..bloody blacks)

I will be least bothered if the Queen decides to once again make Indiaa British colony, I am happy when i am ruled ( u get to see so many white babes!!.. and they did a good job last time they came, btw!)

I will slog my ass at my workplace for double the time than what I am expected to . ( what if the other fello gets the promotion )
 
I will look down upon anyone who advises me to breakfree and achieve mental/economic independance from my current lifestyle/job/midset to lead a better life. (..what foolish lunatics)

I will try to forget the teachings and the entire entities of whatever great heroes my country produced…( what crazy esoterics)

I will not faithfully pay the taxes, and yet blame the government for filthy roads ( .. the government officials are leeches, btw)
…. list continues

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